Today Isn’t Yesterday

The sound of Spring is heard through the chirping birds on a chilly, damp night. It teases us filling our hopes with thoughts of hikes in the woods and rides on our bikes. But the chill in the air reminds us we rather stay home. We remember our last walk when the sun was kissing our cheeks and our feet felt light.

Today I woke knowing I would be responsible for many things, but tomorrow I will wake knowing I can go back to my bed. Freedom of time makes me smile and never came this easy before. No schedule or commitments to grasp my day I will delight in the ability to choose. And even though I have these thoughts, tomorrow is still not a given. Not really knowing what it can bring is half the fun. My son said to me tonight, “Mom, I wouldn’t want to know my future. Then it wouldn’t be a surprise.” I now know my son really does like surprises.

Some nights I have my dreams to ponder. Memories of sand in my hair, grapes upon my toes and kisses on my lips. Many mornings wakening to the sound of guitar and the smell of coffee. Weekend getaways, delighting on wine and delicious bites. Cobblestone streets under my feet while the sound of drums pound in my ears drawing me into the music playing no matter how dark the street may be. Sizzling steaks and records playing become an art form in my kitchen. These were the moments I will never forget and the hopes that there will be more to come.

A rainy day bringing the gift of a rainbow or a flat tire turning into a chance meeting. The crack in the sidewalk making way for a growing tree. Strength found in times of difficulty and weakness reminding you to be strong.

Today isn’t yesterday and tomorrow will be what you make it. Sleep well, life isn’t a period of time meant to be wasted waiting for what you think you want, but to be lived for each today, tomorrow and yesterday.

mexico

RAINBOW MOON

My feet are bare and cold as they cross the threshold to the porch where I often go after my son is asleep and there is nothing left of the day to give. As I open the door a cool yet gentle breeze comes across my face with a tease of Spring in the air. I stare up into the sky looking for something to gaze upon. But tonight, the stars are not shining. There is a haze over the moon that moves like fog. As I stare and ponder I think I spot a shooting star as light seems to twinkle and move. A faint drop of rain touches my cheek and I step under the cover of my porch prepared for a passing storm. But time goes by and the haze begins to dissipate.

A glow of purple seems to appear in place of the night sky and I slowly move forward out of the cover once again in curious delight. Forgetting my bare feet, I walk further where now I am almost to the sidewalk staring up at the sky not taking my eyes off of what I’m about to see. And as if it was a summer day after the rain, in all its glory, a rainbow emerges glowing from the light of the moon.

Still with neck stretched out and eyes wide open, I stare now in complete wonderment not believing in what I am seeing. Every color of the spectrum is above me now on a canvas of soft grey, the night sky, illuminated by the brightness of the moon. I whisper the lyrics of “Comfortably Numb” to myself taking in the moment not able to move. A feeling of enlightenment and peace has overcome me and I am still.

Suddenly in this moment, I feel the cold cement on my feet once again and in an instant of swift moving clouds, the rainbow moon is gone. Darkness fills the sky once again in a haze and I am saddened that I could not somehow be quick enough to share this experience with my son who lays asleep just a few feet inside. But then I remember, a story he was telling me not so long ago of a “rainbow moon” and the dark sky that it filled. Trying to appease him, I asked, “and how would a rainbow come about in the night?” and he said to me “it really is a logical explanation. it had been raining.”

So there in the night sky lives a rainbow and on each rainy day it appears. But if you wish to see it, you must believe in the imagination of a child. Otherwise, you will just be left standing in your bare feet thinking you see “a distant ship’s smoke on the horizon”.

“I Read the News Today Oh Boy…”

Did you read the news today? Did you know that people who curse a lot are smarter than the rest of the world? And are you aware of the 10 tips that every successful person does that you probably aren’t doing? What about the latest trends? Have you seen your eyebrows lately?! If you haven’t then….Don’t look!

With the overload of information the internet has provided us it is so easy to get caught up in whatever your Facebook feed is selling you today. Or maybe it is your local news or the ridiculous amounts of choices we have at the grocery store with every marketing ploy to tell us what is really good for us. But let me fill you in on a secret, none of that is making you wiser.

Our world is full of contradictions. If you were to clip out and save every Huffington Post article, marketing campaign and celebrity opinion you would have something like this:

Take your time. Just do it!

Don’t be so naive. You are too cynical.

Be more open! Don’t be so emotional.

Love to the fullest! Don’t fall too fast.

I’ve spent a lot more time alone in recent years and one thing you know you can always count on are your thoughts. Us humans come with our own amazing devices such as instincts and conscience. Those devices, however, fade over time and are instead filled with preconceived ideas from outside sources. But something very interesting happens when you reject mainstream society and actually listen to your own thoughts. You realize that you know more than you ever thought you had. And you know that you know. You know what is right, because if you are good you will always be right. And good doesn’t come from liking the post that manipulates you into thinking you are a horrible person if you don’t. It comes from liking who you are and being confident enough to believe in your self. And maybe if we all stripped down to this notion that we can believe in ourselves, we can begin to believe in humanity again.

So stop reading my blog and no you can’t eat an avocado seed. Cosmo won’t tell you how to have better sex and your horoscope isn’t right. Just go and be human, if only you can remember how.