Heartache

Broken hearts don’t always come from one lost love. Nor a hundred of them. For a heart to be broken more than once, it must have been mended many times. Is it better to have loved and lost? Is there a maximum number of times this can happen and is it only for the emotionally stable?

Well, I presume I don’t know the answer, but I can tell you from experience, even just one is unforgettable. Just as a song can play in your head, so can another human. You feel such a connection there are times it plays on repeat. And then there are the times when you go about your day. You forget, but then night falls and your head hits the pillow wishing it was another heart beating next to yours.

You listen to the song as though it’s not really there. You hear it, but you’re trying not to. Then it ends and you think you should play it again. You weren’t quite listening so this is a natural act of course. The second time you hear it, the notes hit harder. Drawn in by the sound, you forget what is around you and now only focus on the noise filling the room with its melody.

It draws you in and you can’t get enough. Forgotten already is everything you cared about five minutes ago, last year or yesterday. And then it’s gone.

The white noise is there to comfort you, but it’s not the same. Everything you touch, see or hear is passing of the days. The feeling of that song still remains in your heart, but you can no longer feel it in it’s form.

This is love. This is heart. This is ache.

And I will always choose the pain

The sun is down and you settle in to the evening. A morning hustle followed by an afternoon flow, it’s been another day. Maybe you made progress, maybe you made mistakes. Whatever you are feeling it is your own.

So now you finish that last breath of strength and let go of the tension in your muscle as you let the evening complete you. Do you go on to a friend about the makings of your day or immerse yourself in a book perhaps even a song? Maybe you could look forward to what’s to come in the next sun and prepare for it by making a list or two.

But then that moment comes when there is nothing left. The touch of the soft fur on your cat’s ear or the ocean’s waves displayed on your ceiling no longer intrigue you…there is nothing left. When your mind can no longer think and your mouth no longer speak…there is nothing left. When your heart no longer races and your eyes no longer wander…there is nothing left. And when there is nothing left, you sleep.

Tag: Heartache

When There’s Nothing Left