I am pretty sure today wasn’t much different than yesterday.  And that it being Monday, the amount of work and rushing hasn’t changed from last Monday.  But it sure feels different.  Maybe it’s because today I have lived 14,965 of those days and they are beginning to add up.  The stress is much greater, the emotions much harder to conceal. But isn’t all this supposed to be over?  Aren’t the rush of emotions and heart pounding moments meant for adolescence?  Certainly not to be expected in a mature 41 year old mom.

Most of us at this age say, “just another day you know”.  But I honestly don’t believe that.  I hear people around me chalking up birthdays as though they should be ashamed almost for having one.  Like it’s not cool to want to celebrate your own birthday and even less cool to expect someone you love to do it for you.  It’s also good for you to know that 9 times out of 10 these people have an abundance of family and don’t know what it’s like to go a day yet alone a week completely and utterly alone.  Tell me then that you want to celebrate your birthday alone….again.  Just like the other days that lead you up to this one.  It goes without saying that we are a society of taker-for-granters and we do it best to those we “love”.  We all say it, we treat our co-workers better than our spouses, our pets better than our children.  It’s the way of our society.

So yes to you just another day sayers.  I get you.  You would love a day to yourself, alone.  But how wonderful and enlightening to know that when you are finished basking in yourself on your day, there are people waiting to kiss you goodnight or mail you a card or place a phone call.  Maybe I’m the one that’s cool, wanting to spend my day with those that have chosen to love me.  To share my time with those that are for whatever reason as happy to see me live another day.  So on this 41st birthday cheers to you!  And actually no, today is not my birthday.  That’s in three more days.  I am just very hopeful I won’t be sitting in my pj’s typing a bunch of blah blah blahs to you guys.