Hi I’m 40.  How old are you?  It seems to be the new thing. A club for every age. 40 is the new 20!  No 50 is! But honestly people, the more you talk about your age, the older you appear to be.  Just stop.  If age really doesn’t matter then stop making it matter or do what I have chosen to do, just live.

That’s right, I’m living.  Each day as it comes.  I’ve been through enough change in a short period of time to now realize I am not in control and the only thing that matters is now.  Now will decide your future.  So do it, do it now!  What is “it”?  Well that’s up to you.  For me it means treating my life as though I just got out of college.  I was divorced about 4 years ago of a 16 year marriage.  Took my son and moved to a life that I hadn’t know since my twenties.  Bachlorette pad, budgets and well, struggles.  I lost my job of 15 years right at the peak of my career due to a merger.  Took a pay cut and soon found my son was being diagnosed of Aspergers.  I’m sorry, ASD, on the spectrum.  Whatever you want to call it is fine by me, but most people just refer to it as that kid on “Parenthood”.  It’s ok, I’m cool with that.  Max was a pretty cool dude and so is my son.  But it has challenges.  You soon learn to fight for everything you need.  Education, assistance, anything that may come to me and my son as rewarding has all been fought for, but it’s ours and we own it.

So it goes. The hamster wheel.  You wake, you work, you struggle, you hope to sleep and then you do it all over again.  Or you can ask yourself what is it you really need?  That’s what I did.  I bet the answer is the same as yours, money and time.  I need money to have more time, but I need time to make money.  I know I can squeeze a bit out of each like blood from a turnip but I have to work smarter not harder.  So there in lies my teenage dream of one day making it as a model and then possibly moving on to acting.  I love to be in front of people, behind the camera.  I am adaptable and strong.  I have chosen to stay fit and healthy and did my best to take the high road in most situations over the years.  And I bet many other of you 30, 40 or 50 somethings have too.

We are 40.  And we are a different generation from our parents.  We live longer.  We eat better and take time to stay fit.  We go to concerts and do cool stuff.  We have our kids later in life and want to keep up with them.  Many of us women are tired of the constant images of 14-18 year old “models” looking our part in high heels and glammed out makeup in advertisements to sell us 40 somethings a bra in which you probably need to take out a mortgage for.  I say screw that.  I want to see more of us moms, career women, even single dads all of you middle agers who are busting your butt and looking cool as shit doing it in the next Victorias Secret or Abercrombie ad (wait, are they still cool?)  Anyway you get what I’m saying.  We are adaptable and strong.  We are beautiful and wise.  But mostly we are REAL.

I have somehow managed to compile enough professional shots to begin networking and even accepting my first paid gig in just a month’s time with that turnip blood.  And I have done so at the worst possible time while struggling.  But they say that is when you find your passion, in the hardest of times.  I haven’t mowed my lawn in two weeks, I have a zit on my nose and have very little experience, but off I go today to a photo shoot owning it.  And I may fall.  Actually I probably will because you try standing on one foot in 4 inch stilettos, but I will get back up and keep trying because well, what else am I going to do?  And eventually I will make it.  Not because I’m awesome, not because I have “a look”, but because I don’t give up when I want something.  I don’t make excuses not to move on or try something new even though I have 1,000 of them.  I’ve seen too many people in my life that are dead and buried before their hearts have stopped beating.  How many of us say to our loved ones to please “pull the plug” if we are ever in a coma or can’t feel anymore?  It’s no different when you choose to stop living for yourself.  You might as well just pull the plug.  It isn’t easy as we age, life isn’t fair, but if we keep pushing for what we really love and want we will find that it’s not how long you live that matters but how much living we do.

So whatever your passion, stop telling yourself your age or your time or  your money.  If you want to go back to college or start a new career just remember that your success brings success to those around you.  And 40 is not the new 20, you are old!  But that doesn’t mean your dead.  Live your best life no matter what age.  We all know there are no guarantees for a tomorrow.